Hannah Hoekom?

It is 2015, a New Year and therefore a new blog post! Here is to posting more regularly and improving my blog!

The other day in grade 3, I was walking around the Rondebosch Craft’s Market with my mom and granny because I have been a joller since 1997 and ‘haters gonna hate’ when my mom received a phone call. She came to me and told me that a girl in my class (who to be honest I wasn't even acquaintances with) had invited me to her house for a sleepover. Being the self-con-con person I am, I told my mom I didn't want to go and it was impossible she had invited me but my mom convinced me to go. Once I had decided to go, can I just point out, I got extremely excited. You see it was before I became the popular person that I am today. It was at a time when I was a loner, so the opportunity to make friends was an riveting one.

When I arrived at this girl’s house and knocked on the door, I was greeted with a very confused looking mother and a petrified and heartbroken looking little girl.  Something was obviously wrong but I was so high of friendship fumes I ignored it. It was meant to be just the two of us, so imagine my surprise when another girl from our school rocked up for our sleepover!

I was feeling uncomfortable but I could literally see our friendship blossoming and it excited me, until we were lying in bed…we were just about to go to sleep when the girl who had been invited after me blurted out “We didn't actually want you to come, we wanted the other Hannah!” well guess who quietly cried herself to sleep while trying to imagine ways to get home without waking up the family!

A little background info, there were multiply Hannah’s in my grade because creativity was obviously lacking in 1997 (jokes Mom I love my name) and coincidentally there were two Hannah’s with mothers named Jennifer. Obviously the wrong Jennifer had been called to invite the wrong Hannah to a sleepover and no one had said a thing until I was starting to get comfortable in my new BFFs home!

When I left the next morning, I thanked them for having me, got in the car and drove away with a very heavy heart. My sorrow then turned into hate and I bought voodoo dolls for each girl…JOKES, I am actually friends with them now, and what is in the past is in the past!

But I still wonder why my life is so ridiculous, seriously why Hannah? 

Hagrid, is that you?

Anyone who knows me well, will know my family calls me Hagrid for a reason. Not because I am giant wizard who was wrongly expelled for a crime he didn’t commit only to become the grounds man for Hogwarts and also befriend three young students, but because we have the same hair. Curly, wild and bushy, you would swear we shared a mother! Don’t worry, we don’t actually, or that would explain why I resemble a giant…

You are all welcome

Now because my mom has seemingly thinner in hair in comparison to me, it is understandable the two of us hadn’t really mastered how to tame the mane. At the end of grade 6, it was extremely bad. I don’t know if you will understand the severity of the situation, but I had a giant knot, the size of two fists at the back of my head with little fringe pieces hanging out and that was it. I had tried covering it with conditioner and combing through it. The results included an empty bottle of conditioner and a comb that snapped in half. I also tried to randomly cut pieces out, but that didn’t work out so well.

Then the tragic day came, when they called every student to the front office for a lice check. Well I was definitely being punished because I was sent home to my mother with lice (let me remind you, lice like clean hair, so those stuck up 6 girls who remained at school lice-less, we were the real winners). When my mother discovered the severity of the situation, she realized a change needed to be made.

It was clear life couldn’t continue this way, and so to the hairdresser we went where I kid you not, they chopped all my hair off. I had a genuine afro, and not the cool looking one, more like the troll doll looking one. Now of course it had to happen right before I started grade 7, the start of my wondrous social life and my rise to fame. What a joke! If my brother and I every looked like twins, it was then. We literally had the same haircut. How was I supposed to make a name for myself in the social world of lumo and cowboy socials when I looked like I was on the other team (or maybe playing for it?).

It was very obviously a traumatic time for me, and very clearly the reason I remained single all the way through grade 7 while my friends were all vibing with seemingly shorter boys with squeaky voices. Maybe I was actually saved from an experience I would most probably regret now! 

Guess who's back?!

So, remember once upon a time when I was super eager and keen about blogging…yeah I do too! And then I suddenly stopped! For 3 months I didn’t post a thing. But guess who's back? Back again? It is Eminem! Jokes, it’s me. I am back, and hopefully here to stay!

To be honest the reason I stopped, is because I wasn’t getting as many views as I wanted and it kinda discouraged me. Then a complete random came up to me and told me how much they loved Crocker’s Corner and how much they missed my posts. Well random girl, I am writing this for you!

Now, us grade 11s are about to write some very important exams, yet here I am – blogging instead of studying.

Now, I need to tell you all how bad my week was (it really wasn’t that bad – it was actually lovely but there were moments that really did suck a fair bit). I washed my blazer this weekend as the prefects have to send them in for braiding soon. I was all ready for a good Monday when a bird took a giant dump on my shoulder. I, of course didn’t notice this until my friend pointed it out while laughing hysterically at me. I cleaned it off and tried to enjoy all the joys of my Monday. The day was perfect until I reached into my pocket to get my glasses when  I grabbed a giant blob of pigeon faeces which had obviously landed in my pocket during the incident in the morning. Well as you could probably guess, I was NOT pleased!

Then on Wednesday, I was having break outside with my friends, which is rare. Not because I don’t have friends, but because I always have a meeting. When from the heavens above, I giant blob of purple bird poo landed on my knee. It wasn’t the crunchy kind that you can flick off and then wipe, no it was the wet sloppy kind. Sorry if this is too much information, but I need you all to understand how much my life sucked.

I obviously had to wash my blazer again so I decided to do it on Thursday so I could take it in on Friday. I was taking it off the line this morning when I discovered it covered in…bugs! Ha-ha, bet you thought I was going to say bird poo. No, luckily not! But while I was taking it off the line, a bird took a giant poop right next me and my freshly washed blazer. I slowly backed into the house, in my attempt to not alert the bird.

I don’t know what all of this means…maybe it is good luck for exams next week, or maybe the bird community is suddenly out to get me. Who knows?

Mandela Day

Nelson Mandela once said, “There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”

On the 18 July Stop Hunger Now and Canal Walk teamed up to host a packaging session in aid of Nelson Mandela day. Over 1200 people volunteered to help and together we packed 300 456 meals. These meals will be used to feed 5000 children in the Western Cape over the next year, and all it took was people giving up 67 minutes of their time in order to help someone else.

This photo of my brother and sister volunteering was too sweet not to include!

I am so grateful that I was able to work with such an amazing team, who care so passionately for other people. The day was such a success, because of the amazing Stop Hunger Now team. Over South Africa, a total of 985 200 meals were packed and will end hunger for people all over South Africa.

Madiba would have been proud to see all the enthusiastic and happy volunteers come together to honour his memory and to serve the community! No matter how much bad we may see in the world, one must not forget all the good that there is!

Like Mandela said, ending hunger in South Africa is going to be hard, and it is going to take time, but it is a journey I am glad to be a part of!

If you would like to help SHN by donating money, please go to http://www.stophungernowsa.org/index.php/donate

Who is Hannah?

Well hello there my little friends! Now I know you may be in shock, I mean who is Hannah? Where did she come from? Why hasn't she blogged in such a long time? Well I would love to say it was because I was really busy and I had no time, but I can't because that would be a lie! But I honestly just haven't had anything exciting to write about, but now I do!

Last week Tuesday (I know it is a long time ago) I went to the movies with my mom. Mainly because it was half price at Ster-Kinekor, but also because I love her very, very much. Now my mother is an absolute John Green fan and has apparently read The Fault in our Stars four times so it was only fitting we watched it. Now my mom cried when we saw the trailer the other day, so I knew her tears would be inevitable. During the movie however she raged out a bit. Why you may ask? Well because half price movie night brings all the ratchets out.

Sitting in the very front of the cinema were a group of teenagers who honestly looked like they were in grade seven and were obviously there just to annoy the shit out of everyone in the cinema. When they were talking in the beginning, I assumed they would shut up as soon as the lights dimmed down, but no, they talked through all the trailers. I assumed they would shut up after the trailers, but no, they talked all the way through the movie. Now when I say talked, they didn't whisper, they basically shouted for the whole cinema to hear. Then they started moving around from seat to seat and giggling. Then groups of them would run out of the cinema every 5 minutes and return with food from forbidden places that were not cinema approved. Now this upset my mother and everyone else in the cinema as they are all trying to cry for Gus and Hazel. My amazing mother, made an effort to swear as loud as possible every time these rats walked past (fear not, PG stuff).

This went on for the entire movie until some cool guy in the cinema jumped over the seat, hit the back of these kids’ chairs and told them to shut the (insert an appropriate word here) up. They replied by calling him something very rude, but they shut up nonetheless. I honestly felt I would be able to murder someone right then and there. Just walk up to them and strangle them all, and while these aren't kosher thoughts, I had them. These children brought out the worst in me, so if you are reading this, I am putting a curse on you all to suffer!

The actual movie was average, the hype created around it really destroyed it for me. I did not cry once, but I balled my eyes out yesterday in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when Sirius dies, so I guess that tells you all what kind of person I am...

I would also like to say, the Ster-Kinekor Cavendish were absolutely amazing when my mom told them what happened and they handled it like true champs! I will be going back there (obviously, it is the only cinema near me) but seriously, they were really so nice and understanding!

Dumbledore

I once had a ginger cat called Dumbledore. Yes, I am a huge Harry Potter fan, and my mom used to read me the books when I was little. I was about 8 years old, and I loved this cat. He was a bit on the special side and not so much like normal cats, but I loved him none the less. We also had a crazy dog named Jack who was also a bit on the special side. We sound like the Brady Bunch don’t we?

One day we couldn’t find Dumbledore anywhere which upset me no doubt. I looked for him everywhere but this bloody cat did not want to be found. I remember going out, I think it was for ballet, and making my mom promise she would find him. When I got to ballet and saw my friends I probably forgot all about the poor cat, but I was a six year old girl in a pink leotard, I was in my prime.

I came running up the path leading to my house hoping that my mom had found my cat, but I remember feeling disappointed when she fed me some lie about the whereabouts of Dumbledore. I can’t remember if she had said he had died or if she had said he had run away, but it felt as if my life was over.

However depressed I was, life went on and I came to peace with the loss of my precious cat. And then, my stupid brother Alex had to ruin everything for me. You know how some people think they have a tormentor as a brother; let me tell you my brother was worse. If you think you are stuck with an evil mastermind for a sibling, you should know, my situation was worse. My brother decided to share a secret with me my mother had forbidden him to tell. He told me that Jack, his dog, had eaten Dumbledore. But to make matters so much worse and to scar me for life, he proceeded to tell me that all Jack left was his tail and one of his ears. Now I was a six year old girl, so I was bloody traumatized as you can imagine. I ignored Jack for the rest of his life, and he deserved it! He was a horrible creature. I was also mad at my brother for telling me but I had to forgive him because I knew later I would need lifts and money from him. I was obviously mad at my mom for not telling me, but she too was forgiven. I soon learned to love again, and I got another cat and my cat loving void was filled.  

HOLIGAYS: Park Adventures

Yesterday my friends and I decided to go play in the park after lunch because we are mature young ladies who like to go crazy sometimes. We were merrily swinging watching all the children around us in awe. Now, we are not those kind of mature people who watch little children in parks in case you are wondering. But there were three children in particular who stood out from all the rest.

The first boy was probably around six or seven years old and he was playing soccer with some of the other children. My one friend decided she wanted to try and steal his soccer ball because as I said, we are very mature. So she sat waiting until the opportunity arose and then she pounced. She kicked the soccer ball away and started running with it. The poor little boy started chasing her until he retrieved his beloved possession and then he growled at her. Not once, but twice. This child solved conflict by growling at people, and his growl was bloody scary!

The second boy was probably six years old and he was seriously cheeky! He was fighting with some poor innocent people in the park about their language choice. I don’t know why, but he didn't like the fact that the people spoke Xhosa for some reason. But this isn't what made this boy stick out, what shocked me, is that this boy stole other children’s bicycles. A cute little girl and her older brother were riding their bikes around the park when he jumped in front of her, claimed her bike as his own, and started riding it around the park while the poor little girl sat and watched. He didn't even ask nicely, and he wasn't loyal to her bike, he stole any bike in the park without any thought. He was feisty little one, a hot tamale if you ask me!

The last boy was my personal favourite. He was obviously the coolest little dude to ever own this park. He liked to swear too, nothing too bad don’t worry. But when he said the s-word, my one friend shouted at him “You watch your mouth sonny”. We obviously exploded with laughter and this boy loved the attention. So he proceeded to swear to get our attention. He even took it as far and 'hitting' himself where the 'sun don’t shine' so he could call his special friend a very unattractive word. Now, we were tested here not to give him the attention he so obviously craved, but we really had to laugh at this poor child’s behaviour. 

To be fair, this is all very normal behaviour for children of their age, and I am sure I was ten thousand times worse but isn't it funny how many interesting people you find in the world? Maybe finding things to blog about in Cape Town won’t be that hard. Maybe all I have to do is step outside and some fool who will embarrass themselves so that I can prevent writing about embarrassing myself and keep my reputation in tact!